Scottish men have it all

When I was still in Beijing I was having drinks with two Dutch guys and we were discussing our interesting experiences with toilets in China. Without going into too much detail, these toilets tend to be different from Western ones, and can take some getting used to. One of my Dutch friends remarked “I’m so glad to be guy”, and in response I agreed that men definitely have it easier when it comes to toilets, but also added that I was still glad to be a girl.
This then caused my friends to ask me with genuine interest what I thought were the advantages of being a woman instead of a man. I enthusiastically opened my mouth, confidently thinking a passionate, eloquent, persuasive speech would flow out.

“Well, it’s so much better because we…..(damn, that’s not true). At least we can…..(no, not really), well, we, we….*&&^$^%#@@???!!!!”

For every flimsy reason that I did manage to produce after the initial struggle, the guys easily argued why it didn’t really hold. Me: “We can talk about everything”, them: “So can we if we want to, but why would you even want to all the time anyway”? Me: We have more feelings”, them: “And that’s an advantage how….?” Good point.

Now I know that some women will say that we can give birth, and that that’s an important advantage to being a woman. This might be the case in their mind, but I strongly suspect that most men don’t feel disadvantaged that they cannot have babies, and wouldn’t want to swap with us. My friends certainly named this one of the biggest disadvantages of being a woman, and I agree with them. So although I am sure a lot of women feel privileged, I was looking for things that even men would agree on. As you can imagine the whole conversation left me feeling a bit sorry for myself and other women.

But then, just when we were almost done with the topic, I jokingly said (because I was wearing one): “At least we can wear dresses when it’s hot!”. And, amazingly, they both agreed this was definitely something they were jealous of sometimes.

Following this logic the best thing in life would be to be a man and be able to wear a dress. So I have decided to create so much good karma that in my next life, I will be reincarnated as a wee Scotsman.

Hazy Chinese memories

I’ve discovered that having a blog in a communist country is very relaxing. The blog is blocked, and the writer doesn’t have to bother. Did I constantly take notes anyway? Did I write 20+ posts offline to post as soon as I got home? Nah, I love to write, but I am lazy too, and tend to overestimate the powers of memory, thinking I will be able to recall, roughly, about 100% of my thoughts, experiences, jokes, and observations. Whereas is fact this percentage is probably closer to 5%, the other 95% being replaced by more current and immediate concerns such as “Hmmm, what shall I eat next?”.

So I was in China. Why? God knows. Because it’s on the way from NZ to the Netherlands. Because a friend of mine lives there. That’s about it, which is not a lot compared to other travelers in China that just looove the language (??), or know all about the history (I paid more attention to the discovery/invasion of Latin America), the architecture (all looks pretty much either grey or red and gold to me), or, in the case of many of the guys, come up with all sorts of reasons which are just meant to hide the fact they are there for sex with hot Chinese chicks.

After four weeks in China I can safely say that my interest in this country remains pretty much at the level it was before. Ok, maybe it increased a tiny bit, but not very much. Sure, I didn’t go to the most interesting areas so I’m sure I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I think China is just not for me. Shanghai has a nice river, but it seemed to have Amsterdam’s weather and Barcelona’s smell.

Hangzhou might have been stunning but it was hard to tell through the incessant downpour. Beijing is cool, hip, happening, but also so polluted that even my white skin never burned on sunny days (a grand total of about five days in four weeks). Of course there was a huge amount of stuff I did like, mostly the fact that there is cheap and good food everywhere. Such as meat on a stick, savory pancakes with spicy sauce, noodle soup, deep fried scorpions, baby sharks, and sea horses. (But I’d be lying if I said I tried the last three.)

I also really liked the shopping, the nightlife, and the first temple I went to. And, like on every trip, I met some pretty amazing people. So even though China is not for me, it’s safe to say I’m glad I went anyway.

Now I am back in the Netherlands which is ‘home’, and I guess it kind of feels that way. I thought I had my plans for the next few months figured out but things happened and now I am not so sure, and I keep reviewing all the options over and over and over again. A wise man told me to just not think about it for the next couple of days while I am getting over my jetlag, but clearly he doesn’t understand how my mind works. I guess I could try to not make any real decisions until, say, Monday.

It’s like somewhere in the back of my mind I think I know what I want (passionate sex with a hot Swede? No! Well, yeah sure, but that’s not what I meant!), but I can’t reach it and put in into words. Anyway, I need to figure it out. Let’s see where all this will take me, but it’d better be a quick process with a nice paycheck.

Did I mention I am very jetlagged, and also high on painkillers to fight off flu-symptoms, so I shouldn’t be taken too seriously? In fact, I can barely remember my previous sentence. I mean, did I mention I am jetlagged? I don’t remember….is it time for wine yet?

Time to move on

My dear New Zealand,

It´s time to go our seperate ways. Correction, it´s time for me to move on and leave you behind. This should come as no surprise to you, as it was clear from the beginning that you and I….just weren´t made for each other. I know we both tried hard, and every now and then it seemed to work, but every time we got back to the same point of just not knowing how to make each other happy.

Let´s face it, you like the foreign girls with hiking boots and tons of other sensible gear, and if they have a German accent, even better. And sometimes you tend to go for the other extreme: ten-inch heals, too much make-up, not enough clothes, Kiwi twang. I am neither, and I can’t change just for you.

Still, I am glad I met you and spent some time with you. You’ve shown me things that I had never seen before and were breathtaking (sometimes in a literal, sulphurous way, but beautiful nonetheless).
I’ve met some really great people through you, who I will surely will keep in touch with, and one of my best nights in the past 6 months was spent eating, drinking and playing silly games with your family in Dunedin.
Needless to say, I always loved exploring the fiords and climbing the peaks in your Southern regions, leading me to heavenly views. But other times, you made me feel lonely, prevented me from earning enough money, you bored me, you made me spend too much. I guess we just never really understood each other.
It’s not you though, it’s me. I am a product of Europe, as much as I like to think I’m not, I am. A product of the smallest, most crowded, least wild, part of Europe. You can take a girl out of the city, but…well, she’ll miss it! I do love nature and hate cities that don’t have enough green, but I need a good balance and I didn’t find that with you.
Nevertheless, these months with you have given me new insights for the future and I am very grateful for that.

So now, as I am getting ready to leave you, I feel tired and a little sad, but mostly, relieved. Relieved that I have decided that enough is enough, and that I am moving on to something bigger and better. Or smaller and better, who knows.
As these things go though, I am sure in not too long I will start looking back and see more and more good things about you. And after a few years I will have forgotten the bad stuff and will probably long for you sometimes. So who knows, maybe in the future we can have a little rendez-vous again. An adventurous, fun, let’s-go-crazy-and-spend-all-our-money kind of thing. Good but short, because you and me where never meant to be together forever. So many others do feel that way about you though, so I am sure you will be far from lonely.

Well, goodbye, take care, and don’t let those Germans mess with you!

Love,
Elsbeth

Just put that pig in the bag and relax

Tonga-time: why hurry when you’re ahead of the rest of the world anyway?

Maartje and I have known each other since we were three and we thought it was time for an adventure as far away from home as possible.
So why not try something different and travel to Tonga without doing any research or bringing a guide book? Why not indeed, so travel to Tonga we did.

Air New Zealand was once again great, providing us with food, drinks, and in-flight entertainment that works straight away, not just after take-off. And this is essential if you want to watch a two hour movie during a two-and-a-bit hour flight.
So there I was up in the air (which was also the name of the movie that Maartje watched, what a clever title), between New Zealand and the Kingdom of Tonga, watching the hardships in the life of The Young Victoria, accompanied by Schubert’s music and Dutch actors speaking English with German accents. Ah, it was wonderful. And not altogether as different from Tonga as you’d think: unsealed roads, women in beautiful dresses, pigs running around freely, and quite a few white men speaking English with German accents.

Anyway, as I said, we were unprepared, and after a taxi ride during which we probably asked the driver a whole bunch of stupid questions (“Do you have crocodiles here? Or monkeys?”. “No crocodiles, but a lot of monkeys sitting around watching tv and doing nothing all day”), we decided to walk into town to find something to eat. Unfortunately it was dark and we couldn’t find the town centre. We asked the Chinese people that ran the little store that we did find, but they didn’t speak English. So, stepping over the dead cat in the gutter, we returned home and went to bed.
The next day it all looked better and we found the centre and a nice cafe. Amazingly Tonga is still free of fastfood chains, no McDonalds, Burger King, Starbucks, nothing, which adds to the charm. They do have Coca Cola of course, and Heineken, though both are frequently past their sell-by date.

In short, we walked around (and sweated), cycled (too far), hitchhiked (and made a friend), went swimming at a beautiful beach (where we were the only ones), drank watermelon juice (delicious), waited (for everyone and everything, but mainly for the ferry), saw dolphins (from the ferry), were amazed (at how friendly the people were, and how big the guys), went hiking (to a look-out that we never found because the guide got lost), and relaxed (at a resort where we could hear the waves from our bed and once again had the whole beach to ourselves).

Other things I discovered:

1. Tongan bananas and pancakes taste good
2. Eating Vegemite (with lots of Vit.B) and liberally spraying myself with Off! doesn’t repel the Tongan mosquitoes.
3. An open sea ferry ride at 5.30am without breakfast makes me feel horribly seasick, and
3a. I can’t vomit while the captain and his friends can see me and
3b. once the worst of the nausea has gone down, it’s pretty nice to sit out on the deck surrounded by living pigs in potato sacks that are being transported from one pig-inhabited island to the other.

All the Tongan girls wanted to find Maartje and me a nice Tongan husband, but we politely declined and boarded our plane back to New Zealand as scheduled.
New Zealand: where every backpacker speaks English with a German accent. Typical, you go to the other side of the world and run into your neighbours.

Connected

I’ve got a laptop again. After serious in-depth research of about 3 hours I decided to just wave the credit card and splash out. No, that doesn’t mean I bought something fancy, it means I bought the cheapest available netbook, but that’s still a MAJOR splash-out for me these days.
Anyway, after two months without a computer I’ve gotten used to not having one, and I am not really sure what to do with it anymore. But I trust it will all come back to me soon. Next up is finding free WiFi, which on a Sunday in a sleepy Christchurch suburb (by the beach!) seems pretty much impossible. But since the library is open again tomorrow and I’ve got the whole day to myself, a new blogpost might just be on the horizon.
Next dilemma: do I take this laptop with me to Tonga or not…? Ah, life is full of difficult choices.

See ya tomorrow!

Riches to rags

So turns out a lot of you are the generous type and gave me money to donate to the Liliane Foundation, which is really great to see. As checking to total balance involved me checking my bank account and I had the feeling that would not make for a pleasant day I have been putting off getting back to you. But apparently ignoring your problems doesn’t make them any smaller (damm, I was doing such a good job!). What does help then? Confronting them? Let’s try something a bit more buddhist: acknowledge and accept. Yes, acknowledge that my funds are dwindling, that people gave me lots of money, and accept that I cannot use that money for myself.
Ah, if only I were that strong!

Only joking (though it was very tempting I must say): the grand total is 160 euros (none of that worthless NZ dollar shit in this case), and I just transferred all of it to Liliane. Thanks to all of you who contributed, and as you know I believe good things come from doing good things, so watch out! Either way I’m sure we’ve helped a few kids get a slightly better life.

As for me, yes, my finances seem to have fallen off a cliff. A cliff with a beautiful viewof Queenstown, the lake and the mountains, but it was a bit of a drop nonetheless.

But whatever, who’s interested in my finances anyway. Acknowledged, accepted, next! (This next might be a phone call to the parents…)
In the way the world seems to work though, I’ve been meeting exactly the people I needed to meet, giving me guided tours, massages, meals with parents and haircuts, not to mention positive energy, insights and stimulating conversation. So it’s safe to say I’ve finally shaken off my Auckland depression (brought on by a variety of events better left unmentioned) and am now floating around in a state of bliss.
Until I remember I have no money that is, but that is a situation I can and will work on, and which will sort itself out soon. Queenstown is full of super low-paid jobs for money-deprived travelers like myself and I managed to get one of the best-paid ones around, selling clothes at Quiksilver. Only 12 days until payday, yahoo!

In the meantime, I hope that everyone that has been making me feel happier has gotten something back from me in one way or another or will do so in the future. I mean, watching that Swedish film where someone gets raped in the ass was so enjoyable, I’m sure my friends in Dunedin were delighted I talked them into seeing it and now feel culturally enriched. If not, I’ll buy you some beers next time I’m there!

My laptop died so it’s been a bit more difficult lately, but I hope to blog again soon…

Are you a giver? Birthday wish, and please also keep clicking that link to the TunaFish website!

In my last post I mentioned I was planning something for Christmas and my birthday (2 January). The something I was planning involves you, and your money. This is not sounding good, is it? Please give me a chance to explain.

Because I am practically in a different country every year, most of you haven’t had to buy me any birthday presents for a while now (ok, I do realise that this works both ways and that you probably also didn’t get a present from me on your birthday, but that’s not really the point in this post). This year, even though I couldn’t physically be further away from most of the people I know, I wanted to ask you for a birthday gift. Or Christmas gift, if that’s more your thing.
Lately I’ve been reading a bunch of books about the Tao and related stuff, and I was inspired by the idea of needing less, giving more. This led to the plan to ask you to help me raise some money for a good cause. So your gift to me would be money that we can give to people that need it more than I do.

I talked about this plan with a few people and they were pessimistic and didn’t think it would work. The word ‘recession’ was mentioned. But really guys? Please don’t tell me you can afford two more drinks, but can’t spend that same money on something/someone that really needs it. I refuse to think that’s you, so I still believe that you are generous and would love to give something, no matter how small the amount. If I am right, you can click on the ‘Donate’ button on the right (I’m very proud of my geeky me that managed to set this up). This button links to PayPal which allows you to donate with your credit card, of from your own PayPal account if you have one. The money goes into my PayPal account and you can leave a message too I think. I promise you that I will NOT keep the money for myself (unless that’s your specific wish of course).

If you don’t want to use this option please email me and I will send you my bank details (Dutch, Australian or Kiwi).

As for the good cause, I have a few in mind but find it very hard to choose so suggestions are welcome. I will let you know which one I picked. Once again, any amount is welcome, and I will donate something myself as well.

I picked a cause! I’ve decided to donate the money to the Liliane Foundation (Liliane Fonds). This is a Dutch organisation that helps handicapped children in developing countries. I picked this one because a family friend with years and years of experience in this industry recommended it to me as an organisation that doesn’t pocket your money for themselves. They only have a Dutch website: http://www.lilianefonds.nl/, so if you want to know more and can’t read Dutch let me know! I’ve been thinking about my own contribution, and decided I will sign up to give them a monthly donation.

And to keep up the spirit of giving, I don’t have anything tangible to give, but I do want to tell you all that I miss spending time with you and really think the main downside of travelling is that I don’t get to spend nearly as much time with you as I’d like. Then again, some of you I’d never have met if I hadn’t done this travelling!

One thank you in particular to B&F for supporting everything I do in every imaginable way!

And last but not least, a repeat of the request for my personal benefit: please click this link (clicking it is all you need to do).